Most of us who are not married or romantically involved with someone deeply desire a soulmate: someone who will whisk us off our feet by loving us unconditionally and igniting unlimited passion for the joy of our existence.
Soulmates are the stuff of magic, we believe. Soulmates are the Sleeping Beauties or Prince Charmings who we long to awaken us from our deep slumber of mindlessness and kiss us with revelations of true love. Soulmates, we tell ourselves, are perfect – just as we imagine ourselves to be perfect for them. Soulmates don’t judge us or hold us accountable, we imagine. Soulmates don’t argue, or bite their nails, or lose their tempers, or forget our birthdays. Soulmates don’t experience lack or appear to be lackluster. Otherwise, how could they arrive on their white horses, in shining armor? On the other hand, those of us who stare our soulmates in the face every morning are still reeling from the trick love played on us. We promised to stay with our soulmate through thick and thin, but now our resolve has weakened. We didn’t realize we would look into their eyes and see our own messiness reflected back at us. The truth is that soulmate relationships are not perfect, but they are perfect for us.
Edgar Cayce, one of the gurus of soulmate wisdom, says that “soulmates ultimately are those relationships that assist each individual in his or her spiritual development and the inevitable attainment of wholeness at the level of the soul.”
One of our first soulmate stories evolves through Genesis, which teaches us that love is the co-creative force of the universe always evolving from us. The unlimited energy and force of love is so profound that evolves out of the inexhaustible supply of the universe that shapes and forms us and everything and everyone that is part of the oneness of Spirit. The story of Adam and Eve teaches us that we can awaken the love that we need right within us.
In Genesis 2:19, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for man (divine idea) to be alone. I will make a helper (a mate) suitable (in mind, body and soul) for him (to manifest and co-create what Spirit summons the soul to do).’”
So God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof, and the rib, which God had taken from man, made he a woman. Divine idea is in a state of development and unfolds divine love from within. A soulmate manifests to help the divine idea fully develop.
The man said, now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Divine idea recognizes love as part of its own consciousness. They are one in the co-creative energy of absolute good.
Therefore shall a man – the wisdom that is striving to express itself – leave his father and his mother – Spirit, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. The wisdom of Divine Idea is united with love in Divine Mind throughout eternity. (See UNITY Bible Study, May 6, 1917 at www.truthunity.net)
Regardless of whether we have seen them in the flesh, our helpmates are here. Our soulmates are always right in front of us. The poet Rumi says “The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you knowing how blind that was. Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere; they’re in each other all along.”
The soulmates that we need are those relationships that assist us in our spiritual development and what Cayce calls “the inevitable attainment of wholeness at the level of the soul.” They are the people who we are drawn to us because we have something to learn from them and them from us. They are those who help us resolve our challenges and difficulties. Sometimes their sheer admiration brings out the best in us. They can see the light shining from our innermost depths and thus they radiate the light that has always been in our souls. We try harder for them because we are too hard on ourselves. They have a need that we can satisfy: to make them realize that they are greater than the flesh because they feel our vibrations from the soul. They are not divided from us by death and birth at the soul. They are connected deeply with us because the soul cannot forget. They are the eternal love that binds our “we” to their “us,” our “me” to their “them.”
1 Samuel 18:1 teaches us that “it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” A soulmate can be a friend, a parent, a sibling, a co-worker, as well as a spouse. I believe that a soulmate is everyone we meet — each to a greater or lesser degree. I hold them in the same reverence that I would hold a love that I was committed to help along the path. There are those that I meet that I am Spirit-led to bless because I feel the gift of their blessing, unfolding in me my best self.
The Psalmist says “Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.” (Psalm 86:4)
Not only are we here to receive the love of our soulmates but we are here to be lovers of the souls of others and to be helpmates to the universe of inexhaustible ideas. I call this “soul service.”
When we focus on the love that we bring to others and how we will love, bless and be of “soul service,” as we fall more deeply in love with Spirit by being the co-creative life force that we are here to be, we will find that we will be blessed with an abundance of soulmates, those whose lives are also devoted to helping divine ideas express in, as and through us.
The more joyful we are in co-creating happiness for others through the joy that we bring to ourselves, the more open and receptive our auras will be – the light energy of our souls to drawing the best co-creative souls that will make us (as us and for us) the best, most loving, most nurturing, most devoted soulmates.
Proverbs 18:22 says “He who finds a wife (the unification of Spirit with the affections of body, mind and soul) finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
In The Art of Loving, Eric Fromm says “Immature love says I love you because I need you. Mature love says I need you because I love you.”
Rumi says “Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have
built against it.”
What are some of those barriers? Fear/disbelief, distrust; Insecurity/lack of preparedness; Judgment/undermining, devaluing; Ignorance/we are not perfect; Baggage/failure to release the past?
“An angel of the Lord appeared to [Joseph] in a dream and said, ‘do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.’” (Matthew 1:20) What an amazing confirmation that we must trust God when it comes to soulmates. As Edgar Cayce said “True love is best expressed as giving in action where one is not concerned with what is received in return.”
We can say that we don’t just want to find the right person but we want to be the right person (so that the ideal mate reveals him or herself without interference).
1 Timothy 3:3-7 provides some guidance for those on the sacred path: to be above reproach, faithful to our loved ones – temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money, managing our households well, having a good reputation with outsiders. In soul service, we are focused on giving as opposed to receiving.
We are focused on being ourselves: there is no need to strain for self improvement but only to be disciplined by being obedient to Spirit. Our only goal is to be true, to appreciate others, to see beyond differences, to be more accepting. The soul does not need to seek, struggle, or respond to someone else’s opinion, or even to wait for a miracle.
The soul can’t be what someone else wants it to be but only what is the soul’s individual purpose. The soul knows that its center is the truth, which is everywhere present.
The soul realizes that soulmates can be uplifted through gracious words. Proverbs says that gracious words are “a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24). Soulmates can be blessed and nurtured by affirming and celebrating the good of others. Use words that uplift: compliments, encouraging words, kind words that don’t bring up past failures, kind words don’t demand, kind words that uplift strengths rather than emphasize weaknesses. My soulmates and I encourage each other through positive text messages or emails or other social media, as well as by cards and gifts. We also need to be mindful of all souls along the path through good mornings, have a great days, pleases, and thank yous – and simple reminders that we are here to help each other.
The Prophet Isaiah says “My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.” (Isaiah 26:9) Our souls respond to the universe when we provide those on our path with quality time. Setting aside time to do something special with soulmates is important: sharing a meal, a walk, a workout, a trip, a hobby, a sport, a movie, a book, a contest, a fitness challenge, a massage, a meditation, and especially a prayer. One of the most powerful things we can do is pray with each other. Prayer is more intimate than sexual intercourse in some ways, but many of us do the latter together without realizing that we must start with prayer.
The Song of Solomon says: “His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.” Our souls also respond to the universe by spiritual touching. Soulmates need to be touched – not only for procreation but also for healing, regenerative, restorative bodily contact. Sometimes we can just touch someone on the shoulder and bless them. We can touch our soulmates with a hug, a smile, a foot rub, a back massage, holding hands, or with eye contact.
The Song of Solomon says: “Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love.” Our souls respond to the universe when we give those with whom we are connected gifts from our hearts. What kind of gifts can we give to those on our path? Sometimes the best gift is simply not to judge them. We sometimes judge our soulmates, and we fail to feel regret until they are ill or die. Our allegiance to soulmates is eternal. We are here to be the best that we can be to those we meet along the path, as inevitably it will be revealed that everyone is our soulmate. Those that we resonate with the most bless us with the most important test: are we ready to be our best for them? Being good for our soulmate is always being good for God.
Namaste, Cecilia Loving